am i really so insignificant?

Joke of the day. Too funny.

Music Video: Man That You Fear by (Marilyn Manson)

The video might take some time to load up, But if you really got the time to spare, Let it load finish.. a very good and touching video.. I think that it is really important to have someone standing by you even the rest of the world is against you and want you dead.

ants are in the sugar
muscles atrophy
we're on the other side, the screen is us and we're t.v.
spread me open,
sticking to my pointy ribs
are all your infants in abortion cribs
I was born into this
everything turns to shit
the boy that you loved is the man that you fear
pray until your number,
asleep from all your pain,
your apple has been rotting
tomorrow's turned up dead
i have it all and i have no choice but to
i'll make everyone pay and you will see
you can kill yourself now
because you're dead in my mind
the boy that you loved is the monster you fear
peel off all those eyes, crawl into the dark,
you poisoned all your children to camouflage your scars
pray unto the splinters, pray unto your fear
pray your life was just a dream
the cut that never heals
pray now baby, pray your life was just a dream
(I am so tangled in my sins that I cannot escape)
pinch the head off, collapse me like a weed
someone had to go this far
I was born into this
everything turns to shit
the boy that you loved is the man that you fear
peel off all those eyes and crawl into the dark,
you poisoned all your children to camouflage your scars
pray unto the splinters, pray unto your fear
pray your life was just a dream
the cut that never heals
pray now baby, pray your life was just a dream
the world in my hands, there's no one left to hear you scream
there's no one left for you
"when all of your wishes are granted, many of
your dreams will be destroyed.."

Fear

Fear is an emotional response to threats and danger. It is basic survival mechanism occurring in response to a specific stimulus, such as pain or the threat of pain. Psychologists John B. Watson, Robert Plutchik, and Paul Ekman have suggested that fear is one of a small set of basic or innate emotions. This set also includes such emotions as joy, sadness, and anger. Fear should be distinguished from the related emotional state of anxiety, which typically occurs without any external threat. Additionally, fear is related to the specific behaviors of escape and avoidance, whereas anxiety is the result of threats which are perceived to be uncontrollable or unavoidable.

Been reading up on laws, prosecutions, criminal acts etc etc recently. Knowing these things might serve me well one day. As for me, i was smiling in my heart that knowing everybody in my country is liable to be punished under the penal code. I even realise that threatening someone could get ur arse in prison. I was stunned that even online threatening could be arrested too.

Power... And fortunately, hiring a lawyer to sue someone, can be free in this country. Sigh~ maybe i should consult one too..

The Better Of Two Evils

Hater call me bitch
Call me faggot, call me whitey
But i am something that you'll never be.

That's right. I am something that you will never be. Even if i am scarred, battered or even murdered, there will never be anyone like me.

Yea, though i have walked through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil; For thou art with me;

What can be more fearsome than a man's determination? Body can be crushed, spirits can be bought down. But determination is something that will exist, even without a body.

U will never understand what it is like to be me. U will never understand how come all the sufferings will make one stronger. U will never understand that misery taught one the value of happiness. U will never understand that why they say love triumphs all while hate destroy all.

Hail Satan! Ave Satanas!

Thoughts about "there is always a solution for everything"

When i heard people saying that "It's okay. There's always a solution for every problems." I wonder whether there is really a solution to every problems.
Look at cancer patients, AIDS patients, there might be medicines for them but solving the problems? Maybe in the near future but there is none right now. But some of them refuse to give up and carry on living, tough decision.
And finally, i come to a conclusion that there really IS a solution for everything. Death. Whether u end it yourself or it just smack right onto your head.
After you died, everything ends. Maybe you have people missing you or maybe not, but it's never your problem anymore. When you died, you are reduced to nothing. No more problems, no more tough decisions to make, no more headaches about what to eat, wear and who is going to clean up after the dog. After you died, your time stopped, the whole universe end.
Those who thinks that suicide is running away from problems, think again. Do you even realise how much courage it takes to end your own life? How painful it is to come to that decision? When they chose suicide, they also know that they will die alone and not with the whole family at his/ her bedside. There is a lot of different ways you can run away from problems, but choosing to end one's own life is never ever running away from problem. It solving them using an alternate solution.
There are always people whinning about "what about his parents, kids and wife/ husband? They are so upset about it. He throws everything back to them." Aren't you guys family? Shouldn't you help each other? Maybe his/her death lightens up the burden? And if the deceased really give a fuck, would they go kill themselves? Lolx~
Killing yourself ain't easy. The last resort to every problems..

There is adult content in this blog.

Maybe you have noticed that i put up the warning stating that there are adult content in this blog and you have to be 18 to enter. This site was reviewed by a certain "company" and stated that i have adult content in this blog. So to be safe, i put up the notice.

Inking is Addictive

I was thinking that i should post more random stuffs about my life instead of going on and on about ways of living. Lol~ After i hold the machine in my hand and start inking someone else. Got addicted to it immediately. The buzzing sound is enough to make me cum immediately.

Zombie Outbreak

I think a lot of people had too much time on their hand, thus worrying about something that might not even happen.

This is so fking cool..... or maybe not......

Pain And Pleasure

(This entry is to be read open-minded)

Bring out the leather, spike her up!

I had read somewhere that a normal human being has some sadism and masochism in them. A psycho-ed, true sadist or masochist is just someone who has tipped the balance. Just to prove that you, yourself had sadism and masochism in you, i shall provide a few questions for yourself to consider.

1. Do you like giving/receiving love-bites?

2. Do you like your partner to take it rough on you on bed a.k.a hardcore?

3. Do you like or enjoy being tickle or tickling somebody else?

4. Do you like to dominate or being dominated by your partner when on bed?

5. Do you enjoy inflicting pain on yourself? (popping a pimple is pain)

6. Tattoo?

7. Piercing?

There is no right or wrong answers. You are who you are. Being a sadist or masochist is not a sin, as long as you do not force yourself on unwilling partners.

BDSM is a complex acroynm derived from terms bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism. And it was practised since 1769.

Sadism refers to sexual or non-sexual gratification in the infliction of pain and humiliation upon another person.

Masochism refers to sexual or non-sexual gratification from receiving of pain and humiliation.

I shall look into this interesting behaviour of human being more deeper. Pain and Pleasure, why not both?

O-Jizo san, The Grateful Statues

ONCE upon a time an old man and an old woman were living in a country village in Japan. They were very poor and spent every day weaving big hats out of straw. Whenever they finished a number of hats, the old man would take them to the nearest town to sell them.

One day the old man said to the old woman: "New Year's is the day after tomorrow. How I wish we had some rice-cakes to eat on New Year's Day! Even one or two little cakes would be enough. Without some rice-cakes we can't even celebrate New Year's."

"Well, then," said the old woman, "After you've sold these hats, why don't you buy some rice-cakes and bring them back with you?"

So early the next morning the old man took the five new hats that they had made, and went to town to sell them. But after he got to town he was unable to sell a single hat. And to make things still worse, it began to snow very hard.

The old man was very sad as he began trudging wearily back toward his village. He was going along a lonesome mountain trail when he suddenly came upon a row of six stone statues of Jizo, the protector of children, all covered with snow.

"My, my! Now isn't this a pity," the old man said. "These are only stone statues of Jizo, but even so just think how cold they must be standing here in the snow."

"I know what I'll do!" the old man suddenly said to himself. "This will be just the thing." So he unfastened the five new hats from his back and began tying them, one by one, on the heads of the Jizo statues.

When he came to the last statue he suddenly realized that all the hats were gone. "Oh, my!" he said, "I don't have enough hats." But then he remembered his own hat. So he took it off his head and tied it on the head of the last Jizo. Then he went on his way home.

When he reached his house the old woman was waiting for him by the fire. She took one look at him and cried: "You must be frozen half to death. Quick! Come to the fire. What did you do with your hat?"

The old man shook the snow out of his hair and came to the fire. He told the old woman how he had given all the new hats, and even his own hat, to the six stone Jizo. He told her he was sorry that he hadn't been able to bring any rice-cakes.

"My! That was a very kind thing you did for the Jizo," said the old woman. She was very proud of the old man, and went on: "It's better to do a kind thing like that than to have all the rice-cakes in the world. We'll get along without any rice-cakes for New Year's."

By this time it was late at night, so the old man and woman went to bed. And just before dawn, while they were still asleep, a very wonderful thing happened. Suddenly there was the sound of voices in the distance, singing:

"A kind old man walking in the snow Gave all his hats to the stone Jizo. So we bring him gifts with a yo-heave-ho!"

The voices came nearer and nearer, and then you could hear the sound of footsteps on the snow.

The sounds came right up to the house where the old man and woman were sleeping. And then all at once there was a great noise, as though something had been put down just in front of the house.

The old couple jumped out of bed and ran to the front door. When they opened it, what do you suppose they found? Well, right there at the door someone had spread a straw mat, and arranged very neatly on the mat was one of the biggest and most beautiful and freshest rice-cakes the old people had ever seen.

"Whoever could have brought us such a wonderful gift?" they said, and looked about wonderingly.

They saw some tracks in the snow leading away from their house. The snow was all tinted with the colors of dawn, and there in the distance, walking over the snow, were the .six stone Jizo, still wearing the hats which the old man had given them.

The old man said: "It was the stone Jizo who brought this wonderful rice-cake to us."

The old woman said: "You did them a kind favor when you gave them your hats, so they brought this rice-cake to show their gratitude.

The old couple had a very wonderful New Year's Day celebration after all, because now they had this wonderful rice-cake to eat.

So be a nice boy/ girl, do good deeds. And you will be repaid in kind. =) A little japanese tale for you readers. Happy CNY.

Ave Satanas! Hail Satan!

WORDS TO LIVE BY

I do not know whether you all heard this short story before. But i find it very meaningful and will like to share with you people the words of wisdom said by a fairly mistaken leader. For those who does not know who the fuck Cain is, he's the first son of Adam and Eve, who also killed his own brother Abel in his own hand. Very funny guy.

And as the night drew itself upon Cain and the Fallen Angel, Satan shared his philosophies with his disciple.

“Listen to these words, for they come from all the souls which comprise my being. The words are simple, yet they hold power. Abide by them and they shall serve thee well.”

And so Cain listened…

Do unto others as ye wish to do unto them. For this is thy right as a being of free will. Thou may treat thy neighbor good or ill, as per thy will. But remember this: He also is free to respond according to his will; and it would do thee well to temper thine action with judgment.

Thou shalt not kill out of anger, lust or evil. Yet to protect that which is important—self, family, liberty—kill swiftly and without mercy. If thou art not willing to do this, ye shall lose all that matters to thee.

Worry not of covetousness, for thoughts are free and difficult to rein. Work, rather, on restraint in thine actions.

Worship not idols, symbols, gods nor men. Worship only knowledge, freedom and thine own self.

A man may do all that he wishes to do. Yet it may not always be wise for him to do so.

Listen to the opinions of others and weigh their merits, for others may see options ye have not. Yet follow thine own heart for the final decision. If thou art not willing to do this, then take heed: Thou hast delivered thy destiny into the hands of strangers.

Truth is beauty, yet beauty is not truth. Knowledge is power, but power is not knowledge. Keep thy logic in its proper sequence.

Faith is the greatest force within this universe. With it, ye may do all that is possible, and even that which is not. Yet ye must channel this energy within thine own soul: keep faith in thy hopes, faith in thy dreams, faith in thyself.

Within thee lies the power of the gods. To gain it, strive for understanding: of the firmament, of thine earth, of others, and most importantly, of thyself.

Seek the philosophy within thy soul, for others cannot reveal it nor dictate it to thee. Neither god nor man may lead thee to thyself, for only the individual soul knows its own path.

No one may control thee or manipulate thee unless ye allow it to be. Thee and thee alone art thy destiny’s master.

Thy path in life must be thine own, let not others choose it for thee. If ye wish a chance at greatness, follow thine own path. If it should lead to misery, so be it. At least is it a misery of thine own choosing. And remember, ye may always try again.

Curse not others if thy life is disordered, for the choice of direction rests ultimately with thee. If ye must curse, then curse thine own self for allowing it. Yet this degradation serves no purpose. If thou art wrong, state it plainly, then work toward its correction.

He who liveth without purpose liveth without life. If thou art without goals, then ye shall accomplish nothing. Know what ye would like in life, then seek it out. It is that simple.

Death comes to all, bidden or unbidden. Accept this, then live as if it were untrue.

Thou shalt always have choices in life. But this does not guarantee that they shall be favorable choices, and, at times, the best ye may do is choose the lesser evil.

Nothing is impossible. Thy limits are without limit. However, if ye do not believe this, ye shall find thou art correct.

If thou findest an inequity, ye must correct it. If thou art witnesses to injustice, ye must not stand idle. If ye come upon pain, then give relief. For if the lot of Man is to improve, the seer must be the doer.

Judge and let thyself be judged. For it is thy right as a being of free will. Yet live a goodly life so that ye may judge fairly. And, should ye be falsely judged by others, it shall matter not.

Hear the instruction of thy mother and father, for experience was their teacher. Start with these teachings, then add thine own learning, and change that which must be changed.

If thou followest the philosophy of others and add nothing of thine own, then thou art no more than a beast of the field and have wasted thy soul.

Carry not the sins of thy father with thee, for thou art thine own person and accountable only for thine own actions—not the actions of thy father, thy brother, thy tribe or thy race.

Allow thy children to live, think and feel freely, for the mother and father know not all things.

Believe in thine own self, and serve no other, for others know nothing of what is best for thee. Yet do not shut out opposing philosophies, for at times their teachings may be clearer than thine own.

There is no sin. Do that which is right for thee, for only in this shall ye find happiness. Yet remember always: thine earth is a shared space.

Let morality guide thee, but not out of fear. Rather, follow it for thine own sake.

Trust thy judgment with all thy heart. If ye can do this thing, then, truly, ye shall not be forsaken.

Believe in thine own free will. Listen to its dictates and not to the dictates of others. In this and this alone shall true happiness be found.

Blessed is he who findeth wisdom and seeketh knowledge, for these are more precious than gold; and the gain thereof shall be the immortal universe itself.

Friends are precious; keep them near. But thy family is sacred. One may treat them ill, slander them and do them evil. Yet when thy need is greatest, they shall always be with thee.

History is not a fixed thing. Although the event may remain constant, the interpretation is ever fluid. And the interpretation is all: for a grown man will look back upon a childhood act and see his guilt, where earlier he saw only vindication. Change the mind and change the past—and with it, the present and future.

Be not the hedonist, seize not the day without an eye to the morrow. Yet enjoy the flesh, for it is thy legacy.

Thou hast within thee gifts without measure and powers beyond comprehension. Ye need but use them. Take pride in thy gifts, pride in thy power, and pride in thy accomplishments.

Seek not the praise of others and heed not their condemnation—for within thee and thee alone lies the power of self-fulfillment.

Thou art neither better nor worse than thy neighbor, no matter how much more righteous or evil he may be.

Hope maketh the heart stronger, where desire unfulfilled maketh the heart ill. Hope for fulfillment and work toward its achievement. And if thy goals go unmet, ye shall still find peace, for within the journey does the true goal lie.

Error and forgiveness are the traits of humanity, fear and condemnation the traits of gods. Strive to be human; strive not to be gods.

Subjugate thyself not to God nor man, for subjugation knows no honor. Why should the Father wish His children to kneel in fear before him? Better to die free than to live as sheep.

There are those who understand reason and those who understand violence. Reason is wasted on the violent man and violence is wasted on the reasonable man. If thou wishest one to hear thee, speak in his language or speak not at all.

Ye may speak truth or deception, according to thine own free will. But to thine own self, know the difference.

If a man wrongs thee, look to thyself to see why thou hast allowed the transgression. Learn from it, then seek vindication or reconciliation, as ye see fit.

Others may lead thee to temptation, but only by thine own hand can ye partake of it. If thou later seekest to lay blame, seek thyself.

In life, some have more and some have less. Yet what matter? Peace and happiness stem from within, not without.

Do what ye will with thy life. Give freely, love freely and expect nothing. In this shall ye find true happiness, and there will be no reason for disappointment.

If thou desires an action to come about then bring it about. Ye may fail, but, then, ye may not.

There is knowledge in all things, in all actions, in all places. Learn from all things. It may come from the mouth of a child as easily as from the wisest of men. Always listen, always learn: Knowledge is all around thee.

Knowledge is a painful thing, for it always bears a price. Accept the risk and pain, for life without risk or pain is not life.

Look not to the Lord God for direction; look not to Satan. Look, instead, to thine own self.

Live each day as if it were thy last day. Yet live it also as if it were not.

If thou wishest to die, then thou art dead already.

Thou art stronger than ye can ever know, search for the strength that wells within. It is there. It is waiting. And somewhere out there, someone needs you more than you can ever imagine.

Life and hope are one. Seek thy gifts and share them. It is for this reason that thou art truly here.

If thou wishest life in death, then ye must live in life.

That which ye can touch and hold and lose is of little importance. The greatest thing in life cannot be taken.

It comes to this: by design, the Race of Man is half man and half beast. Thou art not beings of reason, but, rather, beings capable of reason. There is much difference between the two. Exercise thy capabilities.

Thou art a being of free will. Ye may follow the instincts of the beast or the reason of the man. The choice has been forever yours. Yet know this: a life ruled by the beast shall lead thee to subjugation and destruction, for it is the beast that is in thrall to the Lord God.

For everything there is a time: a time to live, a time to die; a time for peace, a time for war; a time to create and a time to destroy. Learn to tell time.

The flesh is a vessel, a conduit to the immortal. If thou learnest from thy travels, the destination is assured.

It is in thy nature to take the familiar for granted. Strive against this. Question always, question often, in this shall ye keep what is most important. The price for thine immortal soul is constant vigilance.

Seek to understand the unknown. Expand thy thoughts and seek out knowledge, for in this shall ye become as One in death.

The answers to all things are always within thy grasp. Ye carry within thee all that is needed to comprehend the infinite. And it is waiting for thee to find it.

He who knows himself knows others, for a piece of ourselves dwells within every other.

If ye have not known hate, pain, greed and cowardice then thou hast not known love, pleasure, generosity and courage—for they are all degrees of the same ideal. Accept both the good and the bad within thee, for there is no separating the two. Without one, the other has no meaning.

Until life has given thee its worst, thou hast not been at thy best.

All has been brought to bear against thee. Thine instincts were bred into thee; thy laws created for they could not be kept. Question all, for this is the path to Oneness. Heed not the beliefs, laws and actions of others unless they suit thee. And be prepared to die for this.

Fear of the Lord is the end of Knowledge and of Reason, and these two pursuits are the keys that shall free thy soul. If ye sacrifice these philosophies, then ye shall cease to grow in spirit. And there shall be no life in death.

And so it ended, for it was enough. “Remember what has been said here,” Satan concluded. “For the salvation of the earth is contained within the simple words thou hast heard here this night.” And Satan said, “For one with no soul, Cain, ye art wiser than many. Take the life ye have been given and make it purposeful, regardless of what hast befallen thee. We are remembered for what we do and how we live: make yours a goodly remembrance.”

“I say again to thee, Cain, take what I have given thee this night. Thou art a tiller of soil: take the seeds of wisdom I have placed within thee, plant them, tend them, see that they take root.”

“Remember this always.”

“Yes, I see the truth in what Ye say, Teacher,” Cain replied. “And of all things, one must learn to recognize the truth.”

Ave Satanas! Hail Satan!

The Hole That You Came Out From Could Be An Abomination That You Never Knew You Know.

I've always believed that all children, regardless of age, should deserved a happy childhood. A childhood without any pains or fear. Maybe it's my own wishful thinking, that all children in this world will/ can spend the most innocent, happiest time of their life like how a child should be. Without worries of getting any form of abuse or family violence.

While all those selfish, mentally unstable adults are adding to the silent sufferings of their children and family members. Many organisations and legal laws had been put up to protect them. I believe that its everybody responsibility to help them to regain confidences in their life. According to the legal definition in my country, cruelty to children or young persons involves acts of maltreatment by an adult, resulting in unnecessary suffering or injury to health or well-being of the victims.

There are several forms of abuse to children or acts of family violences.

Physical Abuse
This includes all behaviors that exert physical force or violent to injure, control or abuse a family member. Examples are slapping, kicking, burning, punching, spanking, choking, grabbing, pinching, scratching, wrestling, biting, restraining, pulling hair, throwing the person bodily,throwing things at the person and using any object or weapon against the person.

Threatening Behavior
This means any intimidating action or spoken threat to inflict hurt upon another through physical, emotional, psychological or sexual violence. It includes threatening coercion and demeaning exchanges that are terrorizing in nature. Examples are: Acting like you will punch, hit, kick, slap, use object or weapons, or anything else to hurt them such as throwing things(victim's belongings) and to make them do things the abuser wants. Verbal threats such as "Now you're going to get it" or "I am going to kill you" or "You see what i will do to you" if she leaves to escape the violence.

Emotional Abuse
This means damaging the other's feelings through name-calling and other hurtful language. Examples are" cursing, swearing, shaming and verbal put downs to denigrate the child or family member's self esteem, calling her "useless, worthless, a burden to the family, stupid" etc.

Psychological Abuse
After the first act of physical violence, all threat and emotional abuse become psychological abuse because the victim already feels scared and does not know when the violence will stop. This includes "mind game" intimidation and attacks aimed at creating fear and causing confusion in the victim. Examples are: repeated harassment, interrogations, criticisms, insults directed at the victim's family or friends. Limiting her use of the phone, seeing friends, leaving the house or room, stalking and checking on her every movement, following her around. Blaming her for every mistake the abuser makes, and forcing her into degrading acts such as eating faeces, forcing her to kneel and beg for forgiveness. Treating her like a servant, a sex object or someone with no rights, excluding her from major decisions, controlling her through the use of money or any other means. The abuser threatens to kill him/herself or engages in other dangerous or reckless situation such as reckless driving, excessive alcohol intake or inflicting injuries to own self to scare and intimidate her.

Sexual Abuse
This is any unwanted or disrespectful sexual touch. Any non-consenting sexual act or behavior, i.e. not fully agreed to by bother partners. Example are: Forcing sexual activity when she/ he says no or she/ he is too afraid to say no. Physical attacking parts of her/ his body and demanding or forcing to perform sexual behaviours she/ he does not want to. (e.g. "staged" fantasy rapes, anal intercourse or oral sex, etc.)

I am glad that the laws in my country protects children and practice people's right. But how many of the victims will stand up and ask for help? How many of them are willing to point a finger at their parents for their abusive behaviors? Please do not wait for tragic to happen, prevention is always better than cure. Please lend a helping hand to those in need.
For the abusers, one day everything will turn one big fucking round and slap you right in your face. Prepare to face the consequences for your actions.
I wrote this entry with a heavy feeling in my heart and my heart goes out to those who are suffering in silence. May Satan Be With You.

Ave Satanas! Hail Satan!